“I’ve also been told by 2 other agents over the last couple days that overseas applications can absolutely not be expedited in any situation, 10 weeks or not, no exceptions. If anyone has any creative ways around this please let me know!”
I have it in writing from the HMPO they will expedite if one needs a passport to remain legally compliant in country of residence, for example to a renew an visa. Yes, they will not expedite overseas applications for travel.
The call handlers are clearly not trained to deal with overseas applications, keep in mind they working to a script and thier IT system is limited and they cannot see much more that you can on the online portal.